Amour

Its almost two months since my dear Maman passed away. She is never forgotten and there is never a day that passed without me thinking of her.

I remember the hôpital visits and the nights I've spent there. I remember when I gave her a bed bath, I actually enjoyed doing it because the first time I ever did it was when I had my demonstration and it was horrible. And I would want to bathe her for as long as she lives but now she's gone. And when I go into her room and she sees me, she would smile. She once told me in the hôpital that when she knows, I'm in the hôpital, she feels at ease. But all I ever want to do when I'm in the hôpital is to go home. That was ma plus grande erreur.

Now, when I wake up in the morning, there'll be no one going into my room smiling and calling me bébé, or lying in my bed with me, or asking what I want for déjeuner.

There are also some things that I regret super. Sometimes she would ask me so little favors to give her a back rub, and things like that, but J'étais trop stupide not to do so, instead, I would say mmmmh in a way that means no. I wish I did everything for her. I wish I did every chores in the house and just make her sit and watch TV. I know I'm a bad daughter.
Je vous manque tellement maman.

So my advice for all of you is to show your parents or to everyone you love that you love them. Do things that would make them smile not make their eyebrows meet. Do things that you din't usually do for them, or if its out of your way, still do it for them.


My other life however is going real good. My husband comes home often now and we went to église yesterday and spent a great time at the restaurant after, I ended up red for laughing! And did some crazy and funny things at home. Je l'aime tellement.. And tomorrow he'll go to the station again... And I'll miss him again.